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Kraft Spaghetti Classics: A Time Capsule of Crap
by
Dave Sacerdote
Текущий рейтинг: 4.0
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%20%20Anyway,%20the%20point%20is%20that%20a%20really%20authentic%20and%20delicious%20spaghetti%20dinner%20is%20so%20easy%20to%20make%20and%20so%20cheap%20to%20put%20on%20the%20table%20that%20I%20have%20to%20wonder%20why%20anyone%20would%20bother%20with%20Kraft%20Spaghetti%20Classics.%20%20It%20takes%20more%20time%20to%20make%20than%20the%20real%20thing,%20and%20even%20a%20can%20of%20Chef%20Boyardee%20tastes%20better.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EActually,%20it%20was%20the%20very%20preposterousness%20of%20this%20stuff%20that%20made%20me%20buy%20it%20to%20begin%20with.%20%20They%20might%20be%20calling%20it%20%22Kraft%20Spaghetti%20Classics%22%20today,%20but%20the%20product%20itself%20is%20actually%20the%20horrid%20%22Kraft%20Spaghetti%20Dinner%22%20from%20the%201950's%20with%20updated%20graphics%20on%20the%20box.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EThis%20newspaper%20ad%20originally%20appeared%20in%20October%201958.Everything%20about%20Kraft%20Spaghetti%20Classics%20is%20a%20throwback%20to%20the%201950's%20-%20a%20time%20in%20culinary%20history%20when%20Italian%20food%20was%20apparently%20still%20viewed%20as%20%22ethnic%22%20and%20%22exotic.%22%20%20Even%20the%20preparation%20instructions%20are%20unchanged:%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EBring%20water%20to%20a%20boil%20and%20add%20the%20spaghetti,%20cooking%20until%20tender%20(10%20-%2012%20minutes.)%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EMeanwhile,%20mix%20the%20Italian%20Spice%20Mix,%20a%206-ounce%20can%20of%20tomato%20paste,%20and%20two%20cans%20(12%20ounces)%20of%20water%20in%20a%20medium%20saucepan,%20bring%20to%20a%20boil%20on%20medium%20heat,%20then%20reduce%20heat%20to%20medium-low%20and%20simmer%20for%2010%20minutes,%20stirring%20occasionally.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EDrain%20the%20spaghetti%20and%20tip%20it%20onto%20a%20serving%20platter.%20%20Top%20with%20the%20sauce,%20then%20sprinkle%20with%20the%20enclosed%20grated%20Parmesan%20cheese.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EThe%20spaghetti%20in%20the%20package%20is%20really%20low-grade.%20%20Good%20pasta%20is%20made%20from%20100%25%20Durum%20semolina%20flour%20-%20a%20hard%20wheat%20flour%20that%20stands%20up%20well%20to%20boiling,%20and%20produces%20a%20firm%20yet%20tender%20pasta%20with%20a%20slight%20pale%20yellow%20tint.%20%20Kraft's%20spaghetti%20is%20made%20from%20regular%20flour%20which%20leaches%20gluey%20starch%20into%20the%20cooking%20water.%20%20It%20cooks%20up%20sticky,%20bland,%20and%20flaccid%20and%20the%20color%20is%20a%20rather%20unappealing%20greyish-white.%20%20Although%20we%20monitored%20the%20cooking%20carefully,%20and%20pulled%20strands%20out%20to%20check%20doneness%20frequently,%20the%20pasta%20still%20came%20out%20soft%20and%20slippery.%20%20Even%20giving%20it%20a%20rinse%20before%20serving%20didn't%20help.%20%20The%20texture%20was%20just%20awful%20and%20the%20flavor%20was%20-%20not%20surprisingly%20-%20closer%20to%20boiled%20flour%20than%20to%20boiled%20pasta.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EAdding%20two%20can-measures%20of%20water%20to%20a%20can%20of%20tomato%20paste%20makes%20for%20a%20mighty%20thin%20sauce,%20as%20Lynnafred%20noticed%20during%20the%20sauce%20prep.%20%20As%20the%20sauce%20came%20up%20to%20a%20simmer,%20she%20added%20the%20Tangy%20Italian%20Spice%20Mix%20and%20stirred%20it%20in.%20%20The%20sauce%20thickened%20in%20minutes%20-%20thanks%20to%20the%20modified%20food%20starch%20in%20the%20Spice%20Mix.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EThe%20resulting%20sauce%20is%20sharp-edged%20and%20very%20rough.%20%20I%20could%20be%20charitable%20and%20call%20it%20%22tangy,%22%20but%20the%20tang%20is%20a%20byproduct%20of%20the%20unsophisticated%20%22dump%20in%20some%20powdered%20stuff%22%20method%20of%20preparation.%20%20Even%20the%20most%20basic%20supermarket%20sauce%20in%20a%20jar%20has%20a%20depth%20of%20flavor%20that%20comes%20from%20long%20simmering.%20%20Kraft's%20%22quicky%22%20method%20with%20the%20limited%20flavorings%20in%20the%20Spice%20Mix%20results%20in%20a%20harshly%20underseasoned%20sauce%20which%20tastes%20exactly%20like%20what%20it%20is:%20%20tomato%20paste%20and%20pixie%20dust.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EThe%20final%20ingredient%20pouch%20in%20the%20kit%20was%20the%20Kraft%20100%25%20Grated%20Parmesan%20Cheese,%20and%20it's%20kind%20of%20sad%20that%20the%20cheese%20was%20the%20best%20component%20of%20the%20assembly.%20%20For%20me,%20I%20suppose%20that's%20partly%20out%20of%20nostalgia;%20when%20I%20was%20growing%20up,%20my%20mom%20always%20had%20a%20container%20of%20Kraft%20Parmesan%20Cheese%20in%20the%20fridge%20(probably%20because%20it%20was%20inexpensive%20and%20easy%20to%20find%20back%20then,%20in%20the%20years%20before%20every%20supermarket%20had%20a%20huge%20WORLD%20OF%20CHEESE%20display%20by%20the%20deli%20counter.)%20%20It's%20not%20my%20first%20choice%20for%20grated%20table%20cheese,%20but%20I%20confess%20that%20it%20is%20adequate.%20%20In%20keeping%20with%20the%20spirit%20of%20our%201950's%20faux-Italian%20experience,%20we%20sprinkled%20the%20Parmesan%20cheese%20atop%20the%20spaghetti%20and%20dug%20in.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EThe%20presence%20of%20sauce%20and%20cheese%20did%20absolutely%20nothing%20to%20improve%20the%20taste%20or,%20especially,%20the%20texture%20of%20the%20pasta,%20which%20continued%20to%20be%20gummy%20and%20gluelike%20and%20thoroughly%20nasty,%20only%20twice%20as%20bad%20because%20it%20was%20topped%20with%20that%20awful%20sauce.%20%20We%20actually%20had%20tons%20of%20leftovers%20that%20night%20-%20unusual%20for%20Spaghetti%20Night.%3C/p%3E%3Cp%3EKraft%20Spaghetti%20Classics?%20%20Never,%20ever%20again.%3C/p%3E){kind=link}